My Life

So I decided to ask some of the people that I work with what year they were born. For some reason this seems less intrusive then asking someone how old they are. I almost fell out at some of the responses. I think the best response was....1987. Are you kidding me? In 1987 I had already been wearing a bra for FOUR years. Bless. I think being 30 started to really sink in when a a girl at work called me "lady." Someone in her class (because she is still in high school) came into to the store and took some pictures of me for her Black and White Photography project. Well Sara, the young lady that I work with saw the pictures hanging in the studio at school and told her friend..." I work with that lady." Are you kidding me. I feel in the depth of my being that she was not using the term to refer to me as, "a woman showing refinement or high social position". But because I am OLD!!!! I mean let's face it the following ladies share my age; Charlize Theron ( Oscar winner), Angelina Joely (Oscar winner dating Brad Pitt), Drew Barrymore...and then you have me. But...I am deterimed to make 30 the best year thus far. So we shall see what the next 344 have in store for me.

Manifest

So I really love words. There are some words that are just plain fun to say, i.e. plethura, facetious, etc. And then there are some words that just seem to resonate, i.e, extravagant, intimate, eloquent, etc. Those that know me well know that I love to use one word descriptions for things such as sunsets, personalities, and people. I have been in the habit of ascribing a one word description to certain seasons of my life. My time in central Asia was "wilderness". The period I was in Idaho was "disciple". For this most recent season I have racked my brain trying to find a word that best fits June - December. A couple of weeks ago at church a guest choir sang a song titled, "Manifest." O my goodness is was great. I instantly fell in the love with the word and I knew that I needed to paint a picture with bold, fall colors with the word "manifest" written in the middle. So I did. If I do say so myself it is a beatiful display of gold, red, and orange with a touch of brown. So I deceided to reread the definition of the word. Manifest - clearly appparent; obvoius. Manifestation - the act or state of being manifest. And then it hit me. Isn't that what this entire journey is? A manifestation of the who the Lord already knows that I am. A manifestation of who He always is. With each step He reveals something new about Himself...new to me. As I embrace and believe those truths I am transformed. When He looks at me, He sees me as redeemed. As I stared at the blank canvas before I applied the paint, I saw before me a world of possiblities. The canvas was clean and new. When my Father looks at me I am clean and new. Now if I could learn to daily abide, dwell, and reside in that truth. Manifest.

Own Backyard

So the other night after my niece's Christmas play...me and the parental units went to Long John Silver's. (that in itself is another entry.) Anyway, the main dining room was closed so we had to go through drive through...they were paying but we were in seperate cars. Well my parents had about 10 coupons and it took them awhile to decide what they wanted. (If you know Betty and Phil then you have a clear visual.) Well after they order my father gets out of the car and brings me the coupons. Well then he needs another coupoun so he comes back to my car and I give him the coupons that were left. ( A sheet of paper full of coupons.) Well he gets in the car and then gets back out of the car...but this time he is looking on the ground for the "coupon" that I gave him. He is searching and searching. (Mind you this is going on while we are still in the drive-thru lane with 4 min until closing.) He gets back in his car and the light comes on as he and my mother begin searching frantically for this little piece of paper. Well it occurs to me...because I am removed from the chaos of the situation, that he did not tear the coupon when I gave him the sheet of paper...therefore what he needed he did not lose to begin with. So I call him on my cell phone (it was cold and and I did not want to get out of the car.) I told him that he had not torn the coupon off of the sheet yet. And he realized that he had been holding the sheet of paper the entire time. Even during his search...he already had what he needed. Much like Dorothy when she was in OZ. She was able to go home anytime she wanted...but she did not realize it. And when she returned to the place that she had tried to escape she realized that all she had ever really wanted was in her own backyard. The Israelites were so close to their promise land...but they began to panic and disobey and seek other gods, and as a result their journey took a lot longer than it needed to. Much like my own life. Things that I have wanted and wanted have sometimes been right in my grasp. But I didn't realize it until either I desperately needed it or I didn't have it anymore. So now when I begin to truly desire or ask for something, I check my "backyard" first to see if it is already there.

Bare Trees

Last weekend while in Nashvegas we were driving to church and Nicole said something really profound. This will be a paraphrase. Now that the trees are bare, we are able to see things we have never seen before. I LOVE THAT!!! That thought goes perfectly with the song by Nicole Nordeman "Seasons" ( I think that is the title) Anyway, during fall the trees surrender and forfeit their leaves. But they have to do this so new leaves can grow. Much like us...when we surrender the little things that we hold onto so tightly, we make room for the Lord to add new things to our life. And during surrender there is a sense of freedom...we are able to see things clearer. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. But surrender is so stinkin' hard. There are things that I am clinging to like it is my job. And it is not like I have not tasted the sweet freedom of surrender. And though I know that the Lord is ready to bless...I still hold onto the old. But when I do finally let go...because I will........I will stand (or maybe fall before Him) ready to receive.

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